As we welcome in a new year and a new decade Off the Pitch presents a selection of some of the funniest quotes from people in the world of football from the last ten years.
Let’s kick off with the late 已故的, great Sir Bobby Robson, who managed Newcastle, Barcelona and England in a stellar career 星光灿烂的事业.
As well as being a great football manager Sir Bobby was often unintentionally funny 不刻意追求的幽默 in the way he used the English language.
When asked what his dream job outside of football would have been, he replied:
"I'd have given my right arm to be a pianist." - the phrase 'I'd give my right arm to do something' means you would really love to do it, but what kind of pianist only has one arm?
It's true lots of people hate me but there are even more who love me.
Cristiano, Ronaldo, Real Madrid
Former England goalkeeper David Seaman proved his memory has not diminished 消失 with age with this quote:
"I will never forget my first game for England at the World Cup. It was against Turkey... no I mean Tunisia." – which one was it, Dave?
The most modest 谦虚的 man in football Cristiano Ronaldo entertained us with this one:
"It's true lots of people hate me but there are even more who love me. I feel bad only when I play badly. Fortunately that happens rarely." – nobody likes a bighead 妄自尊大的人, Cristiano.
You have to take it on the chin - or in my case, chins!
Steve Bruce, Sunderland manager
Everton’s captain Phil Neville proved he understood the meaning of the word improve:
"I think it's fair to say we're an improving team and a team that's getting better." – improving and getting better? What an achievement!
The phrase 'to take it on the chin' means to accept bad news without bitterness 苦涩 or upset, but when you are an overweight（身体）超重的 manager you may have to modify the expression.
"You have to take it on the chin - or in my case, chins!" – portly 肥胖的 Steve Bruce said after his team were thrashed 7-0.
Let the last word （最后的一句话）压场妙语 be given to Sir Bobby Robson whose comments on disciplinary problems 纪律问题 with his players proved beyond doubt that he knew the difference between footballers and monks 和尚:
"They can't be monks - we don't want them to be monks, we want them to be football players because a monk doesn't play football at this level."